This morning while I was riding the “W” train, I was listing in my mind all the things that I need to do today. Who is in the hospital, needing to feel God’s ever-present comfort made manifest with a visit? Who do I need to call today because there has been a death in their family? Who is lonely or depressed needing to know that God not only knows what they are enduring and loves them dearly. Who is celebrating with deep abiding joy the birth of a child? How can I be a faithful witness today?
Then all of a sudden it hit me… today is my birthday!
I actually gave myself my birthday present back on June 5th. Perhaps I should back up a bit. I have had this major fear of needles ever since I can remember. I have written to you about it on several occasions. I figure if I keep naming my fear, hopefully, one day it will subside. Anyway, it came to me as I had conversations with many congregants that part of their treatment for cancer was to receive a stranger’s blood.
Acknowledging my great fear, I made the appointment to donate blood. I made the appointment after one congregant said she had needed four pints. I decided to yield my fear of needles to give the gift of life to people I do not know.
It was with fear and trembling that I walked over to the #6 train and got off at 53rd Street. I was going to the NYC Blood Center in the basement of the Citicorp Building. Somehow envisioning each of you, who I know have cancer and are receiving blood, helped but did not vanquish my fears.
As I climbed into the reclining chair I shared my fears with the blood technician. I explained that I was a minister at Marble Collegiate but quite frankly, right now I am terrified.
She said, “It is funny that you should say that because both my husband and I were brought up in the church. We now have two children and we are looking for a place that will teach our children about Jesus.”
We talked on. I told her about Marble’s wonderful Sunday School. How we put our faith into action by accepting all people wherever they are on their journey with God. I wasn’t finished telling her about our church when she said, “Well, you are done!” I truly believe that God sent me this angel.
When I had done everything I could to abate my fears; they persisted. When I yielded, God sent me an angel. We are in partnership with God; we are called to do everything we can to alleviate our fears; but when all our efforts fail, trust God. God is ever present, knowing what we need when we need it. God is faithful.
Life is a gift from God. I am thankful today that I was born not only to receive the gift but to give the gift. For it is in giving that we do indeed receive.
What fears are you facing? Or denying? Are you open to see the compassion of the Living God?